Control vs. Acceptance

I have learned A LOT over the past six months. The journey has been long, arduous, challenging, defeating, but rewarding. I have a second chance at life - a new perspective and a growing love for myself. I've never felt love for myself before, which is an odd feeling as I begin now. I've been given my life back! I still have a far, far way to go and cannot wait until I can tag myself with the "recovered" label, but I am on the right path. The path curves and bends at times with hiccups along the way but I now know how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep going.

I love control. Who doesn't, right? I have attempted to take control of my situations, experiences, appearance, etc. numerous times...not one time succeeding at it! It is as if I am continually setting myself up for failure when I know I can't rely on myself. Freeing myself of this "need for control" is life-changing. It takes practice. Practice. Practice. Practice.......

I just read a chapter out of a recovery workbook titled "Acceptance Transcends Control." It talks about the human's nature to need to be in control and how our society places a high value on it. We need control because we don't trust our own goodness, and we don't trust our own goodness because we don't know ourselves very well.

It is interesting how we let situations and/or experiences define us. "Control can become a way of life if you believe that your happiness, self-worth, success, passion, relationships, etc. depend on it. You can spend time and energy trying to get to a point where everything (including yourself) is a certain way, thinking that then you will be able to relax and enjoy. You feel good or bad according to how closely situations conform to your expectations. In everyones life, though, there is always something that is not going according to plan. The universe rarely conforms to our expectations. It's like trying to keep ten ducks in a row - invariably they wander! Life is unpredictable and basing anything on being able to control it is futile."

So how does acceptance fit in? Accepting what is. Not battling it, trying to change it, or denying it but rather embracing the reality of the situation. "In every instance, acceptance will transcend control. When there is something that you don't like about yourself or your life, something that exists right at this moment, you have a choice between resisting or accepting its presence. Your choice will determine your experience. If you resist by hating it, dwelling on it, and obsessing about control, you give it life, feel bad about yourself, and remain stuck. If you accept it without your judgements and shame, you take away its power. Accepting something doesn't mean that you like or approve of it, only that you are willing to accept reality, and release your problem's hold on you and your hold on it. Then you are free to think clearly about what to do next. Your time and energy are not caught up in resistance but rather in taking constructive action."

So, with all of that said, go enjoy today and accept what God has in store for you! Don't try to change it :)