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Wednesday, February 19, 2014....

Playing hooky this week from school. It's necessary for my health of course. My mind, body, and spirit have all been diagnosed with burnout. So, here I am. Coeur d'Alene Resort - located on Coeur d'Alene Lake. No view from my room but a beautiful view of a fireplace while I try to reprogram my mind and get back "into" school.

Yes, this does mean I am away from Craig...the one I ranted and raved about in my XOXO Valentine's post. But I am in the presence of a lifelong, cherished friend. It has been the perfect medicine and the sweet fellowship has been lovely. 

As I was sitting by the fire, taking a break for my dinner salad, I watched an episode of my newest educational addiction....TEDtalks....and was inspired greatly. I've been feeling down lately, but was led to some insightfulness from Thandie Newton. She is a self-proclaimed atheist, which I cannot relate to in any sense, for I can't wrap my head around a world without a higher power. She talks a lot about our "essence" and the "self," so it is apparent that she does not credit God for making her who she is, what He has brought her through, and His potential and purpose in doing so.  For I was created, molded, and crafted by someone intelligent. A potter. An artist. A sculptor. An author. My Father. But, I can oddly relate to Thandie's childhood and took comfort in a portion of her talk:

“I always wondered why I could feel others' pain so deeply, why I could recognize the somebody in the nobody. It's because I didn't have a self to get in the way. I thought I lacked substance, and the fact that I could feel others' meant that I had nothing of myself to feel. The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of enlightenment.

And when I realized and really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a funny thing happened. I stopped giving it so much authority. I give it its due. I take it to therapy. I've become very familiar with its dysfunctional behavior. But I'm not ashamed of my self. In fact, I respect my self and its function. And over time and with practice, I've tried to live more and more from my essence. And if you can do that, incredible things happen.” – Thandie Newton

xoxo

Today has been unique - a day unplanned and surely unprepared for. The only thing I had prepared for was a day without my other half :( I was geared up for a day by myself but did not know what that looked like...other than the one or two things I had scheduled.

If you are getting a bit teary-eyed, wipe them, because Craig and I DID celebrate Valentine's Day early. Wednesday we went to Clinkerdagger's for drinks and appetizers overlooking the Spokane falls! It was intimate, special, and romantic...especially when he pulled out the very unexpected Valentine's gift! We never get gifts for each other but he always defies this rule and bought me 45 days of unlimited hot yoga at the studio I have been going to. I've missed it SO much and am so grateful for his kindness and willingness to feed my newest 105 degree addiction!!! Made my evening that much more special :) We have thoroughly enjoyed our time together lately and value each moment we get because they are few and far between. I am still so in love with who God has given me! Some days...yah...it's a choice...but most days it comes naturally. Though I may not always show the love and affection I should, I could not be more appreciative of my husband. He does so much for me - most of it going unnoticed. And my favorite thing about him is that he loves me with his WHOLE heart. He is so giving, so unselfish, and so willing to make me happy and do what's best for us as a couple.

So keeping this is mind, I am okay with him working tonight on what is "supposed" to be the most romantic night of the year. I rest knowing that I get those kind of nights most nights!!

Back to today...

I have a 4 day weekend! Don't you wish you worked at a school?! Today was a snow make up day and, unbelievably, we have not had any snow days to make up! So I decided to sleep in and have Craig wake me up when he was ready to go get a Valentine's coffee at Starbucks before we left for the day. I woke up at 7:11am and, still half sleeping, saw I had missed a call at 7:10am from a friend down the street. She was standing on my doorstep, looking like a drowned rat (rain! gross!) because she had locked herself out of her apartment. Good morning Tiara!!! I gladly took in this homeless girl, for she turned my day around and made it a little bit brighter! She called into work on account of being locked out. So, naturally, I let her borrow shoes, shorts, and sweats, and we headed to the gym for a workout!

As she kept my house warm and Luna happy, I escaped for a lovely coffee date with a friend, followed by a much needed massage, followed by a walking date with a different friend...returning back home to Tiara and Luna :) What a fun day full of surprises!

I now lay on the couch - exhausted - with a red box movie and a bowl of hot soup! Really the holiday could not get any better than this!

Happy love to everyone! I am surely loved and I hope you know that you are too!

One of the happiest days of my life:

too many of them to make

...decisions, that is. 

Too many decisions to make right now. And the Lord knows I ain't good at making them. Seriously, don't put that kind of pressure on me. I would rather have someone choose for me - taking the pressure out of having to decide what is best. It sounds "pansyish" but how true it is! My ideal hero is one who steps in and says, hey you pretty lady...step aside and let me show you the way...! Oh wait, doesn't God say that to us?! It surely sounds familiar...as if it may be a loose version of a Bible verse.

It is not necessary to list out what has been running through my head, but know that decisions need to be made. Some big, some small, and some not made by me at all. So prayers for wisdom and guidance are appreciated.

On to a more fun topic....Seahawks take victory!!!

We spent the day watching to Super Bowl at a friend's house. The best part of this is that they are diehard Broncos fans, which meant Craig had to cheer a little bit quieter so that he would not get beat up. But it was more so fun just to hang out with some good friends, something we do not do often enough. We value the time we have with them and are glad they let us in from the cold that day - Seahawks gear and all!

Thumbs Up, Hawks