Happy six weeks this week littles! Mom and Dad could not be more proud of how you are growing, learning to eat, filling our hearts with joy, and also filling your diapers (24-30/day!). It's unbelievable how fast the past two weeks at home have gone! The sleepless nights and zombie-like days are worth every second of it in order to fulfill your little needs and care for you! We love you and are excited to see how much you've grown at your pediatrician appointment tomorrow.
The littles being six weeks old means I've about survived the six weeks of postpartum. I had heard so much about emotions, bleeding, pain, limitations, depression, restrictions, etc., during this time but have experienced little of these symptoms - and what a blessing that's been because I'm definitely prone to negativity and depressive thoughts. God has protected me during this time of physical hormonal recovery. Before the babies were born I really processed with my therapist the possibility of my eating disorder (ED) coming back with vengeance due to the lose skin, stretch marks, increased food intake (in order to breastfeed), and because it would be an option to engage again. When I was pregnant I struggled with ED, yes, but I managed to do what I needed to do for the babies. I was nervous that once they came out I could feel the need to do whatever I wanted to my body again. My therapist was scared for me as well as my husband. I also verbalized many times that I was going to pump/breastfeed no matter what because it burns 20 calories/ounce. Hindsight - I was scared this could have been my new fixation - my new ED.
But by the grace of God He has also taken this from me!
My body is what it is.
My body carried and grew THREE tiny humans.
My body provided nutrition for four people during this time.
My body carried the littles for 33 weeks, which is almost uncommon for triplets.
My body has since produced breast milk for almost half of their feedings.
My body was a home for seven months.
My body was cut open in order for them to take their first breathes.
My body is what it is.
My body carried and grew THREE tiny humans.
My body provided nutrition for four people during this time.
My body carried the littles for 33 weeks, which is almost uncommon for triplets.
My body has since produced breast milk for almost half of their feedings.
My body was a home for seven months.
My body was cut open in order for them to take their first breathes.
I chose to value what my body currently looks like. I know it is still in transition but I look in the mirror with awe and amazement over what God has allowed my body to do. This type of thinking is far from ED driven and closer to a Godly perspective. I've never felt this freedom before and the break from self-defeating thoughts is so nice. Granted, I still have my moments. I've been triggered by old stuff and tempted to body bash but then I catch myself and tell myself all things written above.
I read on someone else's blog about their c-section journey and the new found perspective they have on their body and I fell in love with her perspective. The c-section scar is not only a scar but a mark of heroism and strength. It tells a story - and stories may fade but they never disappear.
The incision is now viewed as a door once used - a door for the littles that passed through from one life (in the tummy) to another (this world). Without that door they couldn't have been given life.
I'm proud to say that my postpartum experience has been greater and louder than ED, (PP > ED)!!
The incision is now viewed as a door once used - a door for the littles that passed through from one life (in the tummy) to another (this world). Without that door they couldn't have been given life.
I'm proud to say that my postpartum experience has been greater and louder than ED, (PP > ED)!!
Praise Jesus and love your body for what it does for you.
Without this...
I wouldn't have this...
