Second Week as a Mom

The past fourteen days have been nothing but a JOY to be a part of! Yes, a whirlwind of sorts, but a miraculous whirlwind at that. Every burp, poopy diaper, rough feeding, sore pumping session has been worth it. I know it doesn't even begin to match up to what the road looks like ahead of us but I have appreciated every moment! Most Moms get to bring their babies home and snuggle them as much as they want. My snuggles are limited right now so I definitely take the time to be in the present moment. It was tough getting pregnant and it's even tougher having three littles that I can't bring home with me right now but I know that it's only encouraged me to take in the small moments and recognize that the (already) fatigue and weariness is worth it. I don't ever want to take ANY moment for granted with those three. They are working hard to live and get stronger so that I can be that Mom I have always dreamed of being.

Week two has been very similar to week one. I don't even think I can be considered a "rookie Mom" at this point but my heart has swelled to the size of an experienced Mom (i'm sure of it!). Every night I go home and feel the urge to cry because my belly is once again flat but have no babies to prove I gave birth. It's a weird feeling that only other NICU Moms can feel. I tell myself, "this too shall pass" as I did throughout the last few weeks of pregnancy. I don't try to rush it though because I know once they are home they will grow like weeks in just a blink! I'm not ready for that.

They are still so small. Ellison is our smallest at about 3 lbs 12 oz, Oakley is 3 lbs 13 oz, and mister Isaiah is 4 lbs 10 oz. Their personalities already have shown through and their need to be noticed is HUGE!

Oakley is our feisty observer. She knows what she wants and will let the entire NICU know when she does. Sometimes she just peeps loudly for no reason. We think there is already a little bit of jealousy rousing up in her. But my favorite part about this sweet little angel is her ability to just take in the world. She will lay the longest with her eyes open. She follows sound and responds with her beautiful eyes. As you talk to her she will look at you and the moment I put her up to my bare chest she sits silenced by the sound of my heartbeat.

Ellison is our smallest and our egg-shaped head girlie girl. She loves to be held and put in my tank top! Her touch is so tender and her personality matches it quite well. One of those first few times when I had Isaiah and Ellison on my chest she reached out to lay her arm on Isaiah. And the other day when I was tandem breastfeeding Oakley and Ellison, Ellison just laid and stared in awe and amazement at her sis - almost as if she were taking in the moment. She used to be wide-eyed and always awake but now is one of our sleepy heads. Like her brother, it's rare if we catch a glimpse of her eyes. She must know she is the smallest and want to catch up quick!

And then there is mr. man Isaiah. He has been hard to peg and read but we are on to him. He is just flat out lazy. He does everything with his eyes closed and acts asleep 24/7. He will show signs that he is hungry and willing to take a bottle so we will unhook wires, etc., to pull him out of his inlet, he takes two sips and then falls asleep. It's almost like he is saying, "HAHA...I just showed you all of the signs to be pulled out and held and sleep!" He is a stinker! Poor little dude has reflux though so the wheezing sound breaks my heart. He is a charmer though. He is steps behind his sissies but the staff all say that is typical and normal for a preemie boy. He is so handsome and though a stinker at times a miraculous stinker at that!

I'm so in love. Even though it's only been two weeks - it has been the best two weeks of my life. A blog from Craig is coming soon! So stay tuned and thanks for joining us on this journey.

To access Megan & Craig Haskins's CareCalendar site, visit http://carecalendar.org/logon/228232 and enter the following information in the appropriate spaces:

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One Week as a Mom

Tonight, at 9:52pm, it is official that I will have been a Mom (and Craig a Dad) for one week. 

Our beautiful triplets came into the world last Thursday, January 28th, at 9:52 and 9:53pm. It was to our surprise that we got to meet them because it had just been a normal day and we had anticipated going 2.5 more weeks.

Last Thursday I had an ultrasound at 1pm that Craig and my mother in law, Marian, came to. We 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over the cuteness and movements and groovements! It was a painful 2 hour ultrasound for me because I was big, miserable, nauseous, and just hating being on my back. I started to not look forward to these appointments.

My blood pressure had been known to spike at the beginning of OB or ultrasound appointments and they would always recheck it afterwards and it would go back down. Though Thursday, it decided to stay high and actually creep up higher to 167/112. My high-risk doctor made the decision that I should go upstairs to Labor & Delivery just to get checked out. I didn't panic because I'd been to the hospital before for braxton hicks and they just sent me home five hours later.

I was in triage for an hour with them monitoring my blood pressure every 15 minutes. It didn't budge so they wanted to admit me overnight and watch my blood pressure for the next 24 hours. Boo! I was NOT a fan of this decision. Doctor came in and said that if they can't get my blood pressure under control he would be delivering babies that night, probably around midnight. About 8:30pm my blood pressure took a turn for the worst and the decision was made that we would be going into c-section immediately. This is when the panic truly began. The minute the decision was made doctors and nurses flooded in the room, asking me to change into a gown, starting an IV, asking a billion questions, telling me what to expect, etc. I comprehended very little and couldn't believe I'd be meeting my littles soon. The c-section prep was overwhelming. I literally felt like the world was going on around me and I had no control over anything that was happening. The spinal didn't even hurt and I wasn't in any pain, other than the nausea that came with hearing the medical supplies clanking, the descriptive comments taking place between the doctors and nurses, and the pressure I could feel inside. Craig was amazing through it all. He was panicked, giddy, happy, excited, and waltzing around taking pictures and videos. He was and always will be my hero!

By 9:53pm all babies were out and being taken care of. I tried to get peeks of them but really struggled with not being able to. It was sad but I knew Craig was over there with them. As I laid there all I could think about was, "Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap! It's real....they are here!" After the cleanup, and placement of my organs back in my body, I was wheeled out of the operating room to see my sister standing there waving! She had caught a last minute flight and I was ecstatic for her to be there. Craig got to ring the chimes over the loudspeaker three times letting all people in the hospital know that triplets were just born! I was wheeled into isolation and recovery, dosing in and out, not really remembering that hour. I know I talked to my Dad and Aunt Becky on the phone (I think), but that's it. That night Craig and I didn't sleep. I laid in my hospital bed staring up to the ceiling in complete and utter shock. I also was completely and utterly drugged. I kept watching the clock knowing my Dad and Karen would roll in about 5:00am from driving all night across state. I couldn't wait to see them!

Friday was full of visitors and celebration but my health was quickly declining. My blood counts went down and my blood pressure went up. I wasn't stabilizing and was throwing up and not getting any rest. 48 hours had passed and I hadn't slept and couldn't sleep. They gave me an ambien and that really didn't work. They almost considered putting a note on my door to keep everyone (including visitors out) until I could regain health. I hadn't gotten to see or meet my babies yet and was getting frustrated and was extremely sad. Saturday came and I was still really sick. I just wanted my littles and I wanted them now! It was so painful to wait and know I couldn't be there for them!!! I was a Mom but didn't feel like a Mom. The feeling and experiences you see in the movies I couldn't relate to. My heart hurt. But by mid Saturday afternoon the doctor cleared me to go see them!!! Craig wheeled me up to the NICU and my Dad and I got to meet them at the same time. It was love at first site.

It's now been a week and I would go through what I went through again and again and again for the littles. Every ounce of pain I'm still in is extremely worth it. I spend my days at the NICU, sitting by their beds, changing their diapers, checking their temperatures, bottle feeding when they are up for it, and snuggling as much as I can. It's so hard to leave in the evenings. So hard. But in the past seven days they have come so far.

Welcome to the family

 Isaiah Kilen, Ellison Kay, and Oakley Louise!

To access Megan & Craig Haskins's CareCalendar site, visit http://carecalendar.org/logon/228232 and enter the following information in the appropriate spaces:

     Calendar ID   :   228232
     Security code :   6634