Playing hooky this week from school. It's necessary for my health of course. My mind, body, and spirit have all been diagnosed with burnout. So, here I am. Coeur d'Alene Resort - located on Coeur d'Alene Lake. No view from my room but a beautiful view of a fireplace while I try to reprogram my mind and get back "into" school.
Yes, this does mean I am away from Craig...the one I ranted and raved about in my XOXO Valentine's post. But I am in the presence of a lifelong, cherished friend. It has been the perfect medicine and the sweet fellowship has been lovely.
As I was sitting by the fire, taking a break for my dinner salad, I watched an episode of my newest educational addiction....TEDtalks....and was inspired greatly. I've been feeling down lately, but was led to some insightfulness from Thandie Newton. She is a self-proclaimed atheist, which I cannot relate to in any sense, for I can't wrap my head around a world without a higher power. She talks a lot about our "essence" and the "self," so it is apparent that she does not credit God for making her who she is, what He has brought her through, and His potential and purpose in doing so. For I was created, molded, and crafted by someone intelligent. A potter. An artist. A sculptor. An author. My Father. But, I can oddly relate to Thandie's childhood and took comfort in a portion of her talk:
“I always wondered why I
could feel others' pain so deeply, why I could recognize the somebody in the
nobody. It's because I didn't have a self to get in the way. I thought I lacked
substance, and the fact that I could feel others' meant that I had nothing of
myself to feel. The thing that was a source of shame was actually a source of
enlightenment.
And when I realized and
really understood that my self is a projection and that it has a function, a
funny thing happened. I stopped giving it so much authority. I give it its due.
I take it to therapy. I've become very familiar with its dysfunctional
behavior. But I'm not ashamed of my self. In fact, I respect my self and its
function. And over time and with practice, I've tried to live more and more
from my essence. And if you can do that, incredible things happen.” – Thandie Newton
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