Reality hit this past week. As families celebrated happiness, joy, and togetherness, my family celebrated the fact that my Mom came home from hospice, for we didn't think she would. We had the luxury of walking her out of her room.
And it was on Christmas Eve that Craig, Molly, and I followed the ambulance that carried my Mom home.
As the EMT's maneuvered the gurney through the hallway and to the downstairs couch (in front of our fireplace), my Mom quietly uttered the words, "I haven't been downstairs since October 8th."
That's when it hit me. Life has been different over the last 12 months, or as my Mom said, "the last 12 minutes." And this Christmas Eve and Christmas (and 'winter break') has also been different. I never thought I'd drive home for the holidays and have to drive straight to the Hospice House. I never thought I'd be the one lifting my Mom out of bed, holding her as she finds her balance, and positioning her legs when she gets restless. I'm assuming this is why the Lord doesn't let us in on what's to come because I don't think we would ever admit to surviving the obstacles. But He gives us strength AS we approach hardships, knowing exactly HOW MUCH we can handle. Don't get me wrong. I am not personally testifying to an unreal amount of strength and peace, but I am testifying to being able to rest in His hands.
My Mom has been my rock but now it seems I need to become her rock.
As I rubbed her arm this morning, whispering sweet 'goodbyes' in her ear, she muttered, "goodbye, but I'm sleeping." Oh…still finding humor in the smallest ways. Her humor hasn't left her side and sleep has become her BFF, not letting ANYTHING or ANYONE get in her way!
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