Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I think about you every hour of every day. I still can't believe you are gone from this Earth...for most days I am constantly in disbelief. Shouldn't I have already gone through that stage of the grieving process? Just know that the disbelief comes from a tender spot. You were the best mother and still contributed a nurturing motherly figure at my old age of 27. Your kindness stretched far, which is why I sometimes do not want to believe that Jesus has you right now. There is a gigantic hole in my heart that truly cannot be patched...at least not yet.

I still feel like yesterday was May 12th. Mom, I know others have moved on but to Molly and myself the grief is still that heavy. We sort of feel as if we are in our own world...mourning you minutely, hourly, and by the second.

The past month has been one of the hardest. You have missed out on a lot already. You would be so proud though. So proud. My birthday weekend was filled with laughter, pumpkin donuts, and smiles! However, the day of my birthday I sat around waiting for you to call. I could just hear you through the phone, "Happy Birthday Meggie!" You always made birthdays the most special day of the year. This year was the first time I didn't want it to be the most special day of the year. Mom, I don't want to be 28. I refuse to be any age but the age I was when you passed away. I am stuck at being 27 years old. Is that normal?

Halloween was last night too! I couldn't help but grieve the empty house sitting on 361st place. The house that contained so much life...especially on Halloween! It was your favorite! You loved the trick or treaters so much and cared for them as if they were you own. The gate you had built so trick or treaters wouldn't fall off the front porch is still there...showing your care and concern.

Today is November 1st. I can't believe how quickly the months have flown by. The house is selling this month, which means a new family at 138 S. 361st Place. New memories will be created there. I don't like it. It scares me and it is sad. That is YOUR house and I have to let it go. This is such a hard journey Mom.

 

I.L.Y.T.P

❤️