Two Weeks TOO Long

It's already been two weeks since my Mom passed away. The 14 days have felt like an eternity and I can't fathom two more weeks! I've felt so lost without her...trapped...and suffocated from the feeling of not being able to get a hold of her. I'm thankful for the song she had picked out for her service:

[from my sister's blog] "My mom requested this song to be played at her memorial. I have been singing and humming along to it in my head all morning. I somehow am able to find peace knowing that she has been set free and her chains are gone. I saw my mom literally deteriorate before my eyes each day and I want nothing more than for her to finally be comfortable and happy. My faith lets me know that she is finally in a better place." 

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's a constant battle to remind myself of this truth. I hourly find  myself dwelling on the loss, which is only natural. But I need to remember the glorious day my Mom is spending for all of eternity. Selfishly, I long to hear her voice, hold her hand, and see her face. Last night I laid on the couch, sobbing, listening to the 6 voicemails I have saved on my phone...on repeat...just to hear her voice. Just to her her say my name one last time. Just to feel close to her again. I've never felt this distanced from her and I'm in fear that with each passing day more and more distance will grow. I fear losing the memories. I fear moving on. I'm not ready to yet. I'm not.

[Jesus Calling] "In a world of unrelenting changes, I am the One who never changes. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End. Find in Me the stability for which you have yearned. I created a beautifully ordered world: one that reflected my perfection. Now, however, the world is under the bondage of sin and evil. Every person on the planet faces gaping jaws of uncertainty. The only antidote to this poisonous threat is drawing closer to Me. In My Presence you can face uncertainty with perfect Peace."

John 16:33 -

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

I.L.Y.T.P