I stole the title of this post from the title of my sissy's blog...
Eat - Pray - Run: These are the only three things keeping me alive, functioning, and going forward right now. I had a friend text me the verse Romans 5:8 last night with the quote, "I loved you at your darkest," which was incredibly encouraging and a beautiful reminder of God's love and sovereignty.
So I'm not trying to write a depressive blog post but if I kept things hunky dory all of the time I'd be lying -- and I feel that bloggers, instagramers, tweeters, facebookers, etc., ONLY post about how amazing their life is. Read this blog post from 11.5.2011 --> Reality Strike
Anyways, now that I've defended my gloomy disposition....I would add one more word to my blog title. Eat, Pray, Run, Study
EAT - eat coincides with run as run coincides with eat. they are one in the same and fuel each other in a love/hate type relationship. i love food but don't like how food looks on me so i run. and i run because i love food and want to eat it without fear. craig and i find our best conversations, memories, and laughs over dinners out - trying new local places - grabbing a drink at a local bistro. if i stop to think about it, it seems like all of life revolves around eating. three meals a day. what's for dinner? where should we go for lunch? day after day after day after day...
PRAY - keeps the eat and run balanced. my soul finds rest in God alone. in Him i find the strength to do the impossible. i am blessed by Him to be able to eat, study, and run. prayer is a time of complete vulnerability and transparency. it is the time i can be "me" without judgement. i don't pray enough.
RUN - miles and miles have been put on my feet (approx. 3,000). my very first run? 2006? 8 years of wind in my hair (or a gym fan). what's the difference between running and praying? prayer takes me a lot farther than any mile can carry me. but i run to keep the spirits up, to keep the core strong, brain smart, heart thumping, and mind clear. i run to eat as i eat to run.
STUDY - my temporary life as a grad student. however, i hope to always study...to always be a student. i'll never gain enough knowledge, for there will always be something to read, write, and listen to.
my head and heart are in a tough place right now. i still eat, pray, run, and study...but currently do it routinely & habitually. therefore, romans 5:8 is what we, as a couple, are hanging on to. PRAISE to the Lord that this week is spring break :) breaks are good and so needed in times as these.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Monday, March 17, 2014
Post from the Past
Happy St. Patty's Day -
Instead of writing a brand new post at 4:43am....I thought I'd dig one up from 3 years ago!!! Enjoy :]
"I have never been one to celebrate this mysterious holiday (what are people even celebrating - the color green?!) but what I remember most from growing up is the breakfasts my sister and I would wake up to. My Mom would make the weirdest stuff green - like bananas! I chose to continue on the tradition this morning...
Instead of writing a brand new post at 4:43am....I thought I'd dig one up from 3 years ago!!! Enjoy :]
"I have never been one to celebrate this mysterious holiday (what are people even celebrating - the color green?!) but what I remember most from growing up is the breakfasts my sister and I would wake up to. My Mom would make the weirdest stuff green - like bananas! I chose to continue on the tradition this morning...
One thing I wish people would have told me before I got married was that it will be time to begin new traditions. [Maybe that should be my #6 on my list in the previous blog]. We got married in July and had to wait alllllll the way until Thanksgiving to realize holidays were going to be a bit different. We weren't able to make it home, which was a huge wake up call. "What! We can't go home! It won't feel like Thanksgiving then!" I came to realize that this feeling is a choice. I could chose to dwell in past turkey day traditions or strike a pose and make my own (I mean...our own!). It then came time for Christmas. If Thanksgiving wasn't a slap in the face this holiday sure was. Between our 4 combined jobs we were only able to get 72 hours off. We traveled home, raced around like crazy people, and traveled back all before the weekend ended (did we even remember what the holiday was all about?) I would lie in bed saddened that we weren't reading Christmas Bible stories together like Molly and I had growing up or that we didn't have an advent calendar to daily open up and find chocolates. I found myself getting really upset at the holiday and Craig. He tried so diligently to help me relive those traditions and it wasn't until after the holiday season that I came to realize we had the opportunity to start our own. We have to find the "Haskins Way" of doing things. It is exciting to think about our future children and to know we have the power in traditions - creating memorable and spiritual times for them around holidays, birthdays, etc. Did I make green eggs and milk for Craig because my Mom did? Yes! But that is one I want to hang on to!!
Now go drink some green beer, er, I mean soda pop!!!"
Be encouraged today and remember...
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still"
Exodus 14:14
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
16 Habits of Highly Sensitive People [16 Habits of Me]
So I am feeling a random post coming on, inspired by an article I just read about introverts. I would have always considered myself an introvert - especially after hearing the definition of an extrovert. But I possess some qualities of both - just heavily leaning towards the sensitivity side of the scale.
I always thought I was just "weird" growing up because I would rather have been alone in my room with my music than partying with high school friends. I never let my "introvertedness" be normalized. People looked at me as odd and an isolator. Shoot! My Dad was scared I was not attracted to men because I chose to hang out with girls and never with crowds with boys. But as I come to discover more and more of who I am (thanks to the EWU graduate program I am currently in) I I become more comfortable in my own skin.
I can be extraverted. I can flip it on like a light switch if I have to! Shoot! I chose to spend 6 entire summers at summer camp. You definitely don't get by at summer camp by being 100% introverted. Those individuals just don't last long. I love people. I love social events. But I have rules around them. Too many people make me uncomfortable. Too long of an event - I get tired. There is an art in the balance. A science behind the magic. A reason to the rhythm.
According to this article I read, the author notes that highly sensitive people still tend to be considered the "minority."
But "minority" doesn't mean bad -- in fact, being highly sensitive carries a multitude of positive characteristics. Read on for some of the commonalities shared by highly sensitive people:
1. They feel more deeply. One of the hallmark characteristics of highly sensitive people is the ability to feel more deeply than their less-sensitive peers. They like to process things on a deep level and they're very intuitive, and go very deep inside to try to figure things out.
2. They're more emotionally reactive. People who are highly sensitive will reactmore in a situation. For instance, they will have more empathy and feel more concern for a friend's problems. They may also have more concern about how another person may be reacting in the face of a negative event.
3. They're probably used to hearing, "Don't take things so personally" and "Why are you so sensitive?"
4. They prefer to exercise solo. Highly sensitive people may tend to avoid team sports, where there's a sense that everyone is watching their every move. The majority of highly sensitive people prefer individual sports, like bicycling, running and hiking, to group sports. However, this is not a blanket rule -- there are some highly sensitive people who may have had parents who provided an understanding and supportive environment that would make it easier for them to participate in group sports.
5. It takes longer for them to make decisions. Highly sensitive people are more aware of subtleties and details that could make decisions harder to make. Even if there is no "right" or "wrong" decision -- for example, it's impossible to choose a "wrong" flavor of ice cream -- highly sensitive people will still tend to take longer to choose because they are weighing every possible outcome. The author's advice for dealing with this: "Take as long to decide as the situation permits, and ask for more time if you need it and can take it. During this time, try pretending for a minute, hour, day, or even week that you have made up your mind a certain way. How does that feel? Often, on the other side of a decision things look different, and this gives you a chance to imagine more vividly that you are already there." One exception: Once a highly sensitive person has come to the conclusion of what is the right decision to make and what is the wrong decision to make in a certain situation, he or she will be quick to make that "right" decision again in the future.
6. And on that note, they are more upset if they make a "bad" or "wrong" decision. You know that uncomfortable feeling you get after you realize you've made a bad decision? For highly sensitive people, that emotion is amplified because the emotional reactivity is higher.
7. They're extremely detail-oriented. Highly sensitive people are the first ones to notice the details in a room, the new shoes that you're wearing, or a change in weather.
8. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts. In fact, about 30 percent of highly sensitive people are extroverts. Many times, highly sensitive people who are also extroverts grew up in a close-knit community -- whether it be a cul-de-sac, small town, or with a parent who worked as a minister or rabbi -- and thus would interact with a lot of people.
9. They work well in team environments. Because highly sensitive people are such deep thinkers, they make valuable workers and members of teams. However, they may be well-suited for positions in teams where they don't have to make the final decision. For instance, if a highly sensitive person was part of a medical team, he or she would be valuable in analyzing the pros and cons of a patient having surgery, while someone else would ultimately make the decision about whether that patient would receive the surgery.
10. They're more prone to anxiety or depression (but only if they've had a lot of past negative experiences). If you've had a fair number of bad experiences, especially early in life, so you don't feel safe in the world or you don't feel secure at home or ... at school, your nervous system is set to 'anxious. But that's not to say that all highly sensitive people will go on to have anxiety -- and in fact, having a supportive environment can go a long way to protecting against this. Parents of highly sensitive children, in particular, need to realize these are really great kids, but they need to be handled in the right way. You can't over-protect them, but you can't under-protect them, either. You have to titrate that just right when they're young so they can feel confident and they can do fine.
11. That annoying sound is probably significantly more annoying to a highly sensitive person. While it's hard to say anyone is a fan of annoying noises, highly sensitive people are on a whole more, well, sensitive to chaos and noise. That's because they tend to be more easily overwhelmed and overstimulated by too much activity.
12. Violent movies are the worst.Because highly sensitive people are so high in empathy and more easily overstimulated, movies with violence or horror themes may not be their cup of tea.
13. They cry more easily. That's why it's important for highly sensitive people to put themselves in situations where they won't be made to feel embarrassed or "wrong" for crying easily. If their friends and family realize that that's just how they are -- that they cry easily -- and support that form of expression, then "crying easily" will not be seen as something shameful.
14. They have above-average manners. Highly sensitive people are also highly conscientious people, Aron says. Because of this, they're more likely to be considerate and exhibit good manners -- and are also more likely to notice when someone elseisn't being conscientious. For instance, highly sensitive people may be more aware of where their cart is at the grocery store -- not because they're afraid someone will steal something out of it, but because they don't want to be rude and have their cart blocking another person's way.
15. The effects of criticism are especially amplified in highly sensitive people. Highly sensitive people have reactions to criticism that are more intense than less sensitive people. As a result, they may employ certain tactics to avoid said criticism, including people-pleasing (so that there is no longer anything to criticize), criticizing themselves first, and avoiding the source of the criticism altogether.
16. Cubicles = good. Open-office plans = bad. Just like highly sensitive people tend to prefer solo workouts, they may also prefer solo work environments. Many highly sensitive people enjoy working from home or being self-employed because they can control the stimuli in their work environments. For those without the luxury of creating their own flexible work schedules (and environments), highly sensitive people might enjoy working in a cubicle -- where they have more privacy and less noise -- than in an open-office plan.
Yup. Sounds just like me. Crazy.
And I would say Craig is almost the complete opposite.
So, opposites do attract???
Saturday, March 1, 2014
The 2004 Me
As I was rummaging through my "Documents" folder on my computer - purging through old files - I came across the BIO I had to write about myself to share with the Mason Society, who had graciously awarded me with an educational savings bond. It is always eye opening to go back to my old ME and read about my hopes, my dreams, my successes, and my aspirations.
I was 17 years old and wrote this in 2004:
"I have been involved in many different activities and a variety of sports that I feel I have a lot of experience to offer. Learning from my past, and moving on, was always the motto that kept me going. Since the beginning of ninth grade, the first year of my high school career, I have been able to maintain not only straight A’s but also a 3.97 GPA. With that GPA, I feel that my future is wide open, and I have set myself up for success. Earning A’s was always easy for me; I guess I could say that it came naturally. Don’t get my wrong, I had to work for it, but it was fun, and easy work. My freshman year I took all honors courses, knowing that they would keep me challenged. Honors English, and honors Band were always my favorite subjects. And because of my outstanding flute accomplishments in the band, I was hired to conduct private lessons for a younger student. Throughout that year I dedicated the majority of my time to the Village Green Retirement Center. For National Junior Honors Society we were required 10 hours of community service. Not only did I volunteer on a regular basis at the retirement center but I also contributed 40 hours of work to my church. For my 9th grade project I chose to serve others. Therefore, I enlarged, printed, and even copied bulletins for all four of our church’s services. As the year went on I began to volunteer at my old elementary school, Enterprise Elementary. My friend Leslie and I would walk there after school to help out some of the teachers. As you can tell, I loved staying active, and I loved knowing that there was something for me to do after school instead of coming home to watch TV for hours. I was very productive with my time, and I liked to get things done. The sport that I had a passion for was swimming. As people are well aware of, swimming is not offered in Junior High, therefore, I got the privilege to head over to Federal Way High School everyday after school to participate on their swim team. That year I was very successful. I was able to meet so many different people that went to the school. I completed the season with a Varsity letter and with the recognition of only being 3 seconds away from the district’s times. When swimming ended for the High School, I just headed back over to my year round swimming practices at the King County Aquatics Center. I was very dedicated to swimming, and still am. This year, as a junior at Todd Beamer, I was not only Captain of the team, but made it to districts in two different events. I guess after practicing for two years on Federal Way High School’s swim team, it paid off. Throughout my sophomore year at Federal Way High School I discovered I had a love for gymnastics. So, this year was my second year participating on a Varsity gymnastics team. And as well as participating, I lettered once again as the team’s captain. At the end of the year’s ninth grade banquet I received some very special awards. I received not only the 2001 Principal’s awards, but also the 2001 Academic Award. Since Illahee Junior High School, I have been able to observe and participate in two different High Schools. Last year I attended Federal Way High School, and it was the best year, academic wise. I was able to pass Honors World English with an A, while still keeping up my everyday activities, such as sports, and piano lessons. That is also the same year I became involved with Camp Thunderbird. I enjoy pleasing others, and helping them out once in a while, therefore I decided to spend a lot of time at camp. Over the past two years I have been blessed to be a High School leader at Camp Thunderbird, and not just once, but five different times. That is where I love to share my heart, my personality, and the love I have for fifth graders. Besides being able to attend five weeks as a leader, I also have been able to attend six training weekends, to share my knowledge and experience with those upcoming leaders. I am truly blessed to be so involved. Overall, I have received a certificate that states I have dedicated more then 600 hours of community service there, at Camp Thunderbird. Among my camp experience at Thunderbird I have also been a leader and counselor in training for the past two summers at Camp Gilead. Gilead was a camp I grew up in as a child, and I always knew I wanted to work there someday. During the summers of 2002 and 2003 I spent 20 weeks of service and training, all voluntarily. And this summer, I was hired to be a counselor at Camp Barachah. I will be working with the day campers there. Just recently, in November of 2003 I performed in Federal Way’s “Annie” play, held at my church, St.Luke’s Lutheran. I spent months practicing and preparing to be an orphan in our city play. “Annie” is the third play I have been in through our city. I enjoy acting very much and hope to continue in my future. This year I have taken English AP, which has prepared me for the AP exam. I also am enjoying my family psychology class; for that is the area of study I am most interested in. As well as being active in my High School and my community I am also very active in my church and my youth group. I have been part of my youth group for the past 5 years. I help lead Bible Studies, and periodically I will help our youth pastor out by tagging along on a junior high retreat, for they need guidance just as much as we do. Church is a place where I have always felt accepted, for the people there are so encouraging. My relationship with Christ is most important, and I put Him first before all that I do. In 9th grade I joined the youth ensemble at church, and was able to enjoy 3 long years of singing with them. Singing is something other people have always thought I was good at, but it is not something I would like to pursue professionally. Singing is one of the many things I enjoy doing on the side of school. As a junior at Todd Beamer I am able to see where I am going with my future. In less then two years I will be out on my own. I am hoping to be accepted at Biola University, Linfield University, Willamette University, or Seattle Pacific University. I have a passion to attend a semi small school with a Christian background, which will keep me headed towards the Lord. I plan to study psychology and become either a Christian psychologist, or a mental health counselor. I hope to earn my Master’s, and go on studying from there. For, I really don’t know what my future holds, but I only hope for the best."
I was 17 years old and wrote this in 2004:
"I have been involved in many different activities and a variety of sports that I feel I have a lot of experience to offer. Learning from my past, and moving on, was always the motto that kept me going. Since the beginning of ninth grade, the first year of my high school career, I have been able to maintain not only straight A’s but also a 3.97 GPA. With that GPA, I feel that my future is wide open, and I have set myself up for success. Earning A’s was always easy for me; I guess I could say that it came naturally. Don’t get my wrong, I had to work for it, but it was fun, and easy work. My freshman year I took all honors courses, knowing that they would keep me challenged. Honors English, and honors Band were always my favorite subjects. And because of my outstanding flute accomplishments in the band, I was hired to conduct private lessons for a younger student. Throughout that year I dedicated the majority of my time to the Village Green Retirement Center. For National Junior Honors Society we were required 10 hours of community service. Not only did I volunteer on a regular basis at the retirement center but I also contributed 40 hours of work to my church. For my 9th grade project I chose to serve others. Therefore, I enlarged, printed, and even copied bulletins for all four of our church’s services. As the year went on I began to volunteer at my old elementary school, Enterprise Elementary. My friend Leslie and I would walk there after school to help out some of the teachers. As you can tell, I loved staying active, and I loved knowing that there was something for me to do after school instead of coming home to watch TV for hours. I was very productive with my time, and I liked to get things done. The sport that I had a passion for was swimming. As people are well aware of, swimming is not offered in Junior High, therefore, I got the privilege to head over to Federal Way High School everyday after school to participate on their swim team. That year I was very successful. I was able to meet so many different people that went to the school. I completed the season with a Varsity letter and with the recognition of only being 3 seconds away from the district’s times. When swimming ended for the High School, I just headed back over to my year round swimming practices at the King County Aquatics Center. I was very dedicated to swimming, and still am. This year, as a junior at Todd Beamer, I was not only Captain of the team, but made it to districts in two different events. I guess after practicing for two years on Federal Way High School’s swim team, it paid off. Throughout my sophomore year at Federal Way High School I discovered I had a love for gymnastics. So, this year was my second year participating on a Varsity gymnastics team. And as well as participating, I lettered once again as the team’s captain. At the end of the year’s ninth grade banquet I received some very special awards. I received not only the 2001 Principal’s awards, but also the 2001 Academic Award. Since Illahee Junior High School, I have been able to observe and participate in two different High Schools. Last year I attended Federal Way High School, and it was the best year, academic wise. I was able to pass Honors World English with an A, while still keeping up my everyday activities, such as sports, and piano lessons. That is also the same year I became involved with Camp Thunderbird. I enjoy pleasing others, and helping them out once in a while, therefore I decided to spend a lot of time at camp. Over the past two years I have been blessed to be a High School leader at Camp Thunderbird, and not just once, but five different times. That is where I love to share my heart, my personality, and the love I have for fifth graders. Besides being able to attend five weeks as a leader, I also have been able to attend six training weekends, to share my knowledge and experience with those upcoming leaders. I am truly blessed to be so involved. Overall, I have received a certificate that states I have dedicated more then 600 hours of community service there, at Camp Thunderbird. Among my camp experience at Thunderbird I have also been a leader and counselor in training for the past two summers at Camp Gilead. Gilead was a camp I grew up in as a child, and I always knew I wanted to work there someday. During the summers of 2002 and 2003 I spent 20 weeks of service and training, all voluntarily. And this summer, I was hired to be a counselor at Camp Barachah. I will be working with the day campers there. Just recently, in November of 2003 I performed in Federal Way’s “Annie” play, held at my church, St.Luke’s Lutheran. I spent months practicing and preparing to be an orphan in our city play. “Annie” is the third play I have been in through our city. I enjoy acting very much and hope to continue in my future. This year I have taken English AP, which has prepared me for the AP exam. I also am enjoying my family psychology class; for that is the area of study I am most interested in. As well as being active in my High School and my community I am also very active in my church and my youth group. I have been part of my youth group for the past 5 years. I help lead Bible Studies, and periodically I will help our youth pastor out by tagging along on a junior high retreat, for they need guidance just as much as we do. Church is a place where I have always felt accepted, for the people there are so encouraging. My relationship with Christ is most important, and I put Him first before all that I do. In 9th grade I joined the youth ensemble at church, and was able to enjoy 3 long years of singing with them. Singing is something other people have always thought I was good at, but it is not something I would like to pursue professionally. Singing is one of the many things I enjoy doing on the side of school. As a junior at Todd Beamer I am able to see where I am going with my future. In less then two years I will be out on my own. I am hoping to be accepted at Biola University, Linfield University, Willamette University, or Seattle Pacific University. I have a passion to attend a semi small school with a Christian background, which will keep me headed towards the Lord. I plan to study psychology and become either a Christian psychologist, or a mental health counselor. I hope to earn my Master’s, and go on studying from there. For, I really don’t know what my future holds, but I only hope for the best."
Christian psychologist or a mental health counselor? Well...I came close to my dream by earning my Masters in school counseling. Man...life was easier back then and I remember thinking at the time that life was horrible and difficult. It is always relative, but what I would give to go back to the 2004's "life is hard" mantra.
Too funny.
Boy was I cool in 2004.....
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