Yes...it's an Irish holiday celebrated in many different ways: getting pinched, wearing green, finding the leprechaun at school, eating dyed-green foods, cooking corned beef and cabbage, going out for drinks...specifically drinking Guinness, and an excuse to drink way too much. I may or may not partake in some of these traditions each year but from now on I will recognize and celebrate my yearly anniversary of making the bold move and starting treating for my eating disorder at The Emily Program. March 17, 2014 I began intensive outpatient programming. There is no better way to describe myself that day than to say I was one hot mess! I cried my way through the entire 4 hours of programming, denying that I had an eating disorder, arguing others that I was not sick enough to be there. I refused to talk in groups, put up a fight the entire hour of dinner...NOT wanting to eat the small half sandwich they were requiring me to eat. It was my first night so they ease you into the freaking gargantuan meals they eventually make you eat there. I wanted to run and escape. In fact, I tried. Surprising? No, not really. When I don't want to do something my stubborn side strongly steps in and takes over. I had to be escorted to dinner by my therapist (also the site director) so I wouldn't run. Since that day I have experienced everything...literally everything: ups, downs, RELATIONSHIPS, tears, laughter, smiles, memories, joy, CONNECTION, grief, trauma, DANCING, loss, lessons learned, insight, heartache, FOOD!!, disappointment, setting boundaries, SINGING, and friendships.
I walked into The Emily Program on March 17, 2014 wearing a big need on my sleeve. I needed my hope to be held for me, I needed to be loved on, cared for, and challenged. And I got just that plus more. I have been given a second chance at life, a lifetime of hugs and smiles (and laughter), and a hope I can carry for myself. I am forever thankful for The Emily Program and celebrate this day and the dramatic changes that have occurred over the past 365 days.
I've come a long way...
The road is STILL long but I've struggled through
some of the worst days I'll ever have to struggle through!
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
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