Oceans

The song on my heart today:

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown, where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior 

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours, and You are mine

This past week grief has barricaded itself right in front of me, parked, with the emergency brake on. It's raw because of the close proximity to my Mom's loss last week. The week was full of celebration, laughter, shared memories, coffee, dancing, and more dancing! The week was also full of sadness, reminiscing, loss, emptiness, and heartache. I stayed back at my Mom's house for the first time since her passing. It was a weird feeling to walk through the front door, not having her there to greet me, or at least knowing where I could find her to run and greet her! It was an odd feeling with the blessing of my Aunt around to comfort me! Her smell still lingers and the house hasn't changed. I was so grateful for Ant B because she made it a cozy and warm stay, despite the lingering feeling of loss and absence.

We sang this song in church this morning, Oceans, by Hillsong. I've heard it played over and over again on the radio - I even have the words down to sing along with it. However, it touched a tender spot in my heart today. I realized for the first time the meaning of the song and the impact it has on my faith. He has called me out onto the waters as He did with Peter. This is a place where feet fail us because of our inability to walk on water. Powerful! He calls us to a place He knows we can't go on our own, bringing us back and humbling us to have to rely on Him. And it is there, in those deep waters, in the hard times and the trying times, that our faith will be made stronger. So, as I pass through the days of sadness and grief I will keep my eyes ABOVE the waves knowing that it is there I will find the much needed rest. I'm exhausted. I'm worn. I'm His.