Haskins vs. Bees

So, life has been pretty entertaining over this last week.  We have made great friends with about 75 bees who live and have nestled up on our porch.  They have actually been a huge disturbance.  We can't sit out there or even BBQ because of the hazardous conditions.  Now don't be fooled.  These bees ain't nothing like the bees in The Bee Movie.  They are not nice.  But we couldn't figure out where their nest was until one day I was brave enough to stand outside.  I started seeing bees go in and not come back out of Craig's Nike cleat.  I told him when he got home, he nudged the shoe with a golf club and a swarm of 50 or so bees come raging out of the cleat.  Awesome!  A bee hive in a shoe on our 8 ft x 4 ft porch.  OH if only you could have seen all the reactions we have been getting.  We have asked friends, "Have you ever had a bee hive in a shoe?"  All in all, Craig was adamant about extinguishing this thing on his own.  He didn't want to pay the $4.99 yet.  He messed with those bees on a daily basis.  They got to know each other really well.  He would poke at the shoe and make a mad dash back inside to slam the sliding glass door, then just sit back and watch them get angry.  So angry the would try to slam into the glass to get him.  So here are some brainstormed plans of his:

Plan A:
Grab shoe quickly and chuck it off our porch.  Then it is in the courtyard and isn't our problem.

Plan B:
Throw a towel over the opening of the shoe to keep them from coming in and out.  He actually played this one out and it failed miserably.


Plan C:
Place a box out there and slowly tap the shoe into the box.  Then throw the box over the porch.

Plan D:
Triple up on garbage bags and pick up the shoe like you pick up dog poop with a bag and quickly spin the bag, put it in the box, and take the box to the empty field to leave it.

So, he practiced for Plan D the most....it was his favorite idea.  Of course he would be from head to toe in winter gear as he is doing this.  He had psyched himself up so much he began practicing.  It failed miserably.  He couldn't get all three plastic bags back up and over his hand to spin the bag closed fast enough.  He would be dead.

In the end, he hung his head as we went to Fred Meyer and paid $4.99 for a "kills on contact" foaming spray.  We have used it a count of 4 times now and there are still one or two survivors.  We almost have victory though!  Now Craig's question, "Do I keep the shoe for bragging rights or throw it away?"