Always a Mom

Momma & Me <3

Love you, Mom!

Susie K Smith

The Blessings Abound

Despite hard times....the blessings continue to rain down on us. They don't stop. They are endless. It surely pays off to stop and count them every so often or else they get backed up and spill over in a volcanic fashion. Sometimes life gets foggy and I feel as if right now it is hard to see beyond the thickness, but I am constantly reminded to remain still. To be patient. And to be quiet and listen. And when I listen, I hear. And being able to hear is one of the sweetest gifts there is.

If you are sitting there with your head cocked to the side, confused, wondering "what are all these blessings she speaks of?" Good question.

Craig found part-time work on top of his full-time job!

An anonymous third party offered to pay off Craig's Moody bill.

The same anonymous third party offered to buy us a whole new set of tires for the Lexus!

Gas was paid for so that we could make it home for Granddad's funeral.

The food bank is so good to us!

Got the most precious gift from my Grandnan that paid off our credit card & Craig's computer!

Receive free health & support services since I am an EWU student.

My professors have been ever so lenient with me and my school work so that I can travel home to see my Mom often.

Someone helped us out with much needed car repairs.

Someone gave us a generous gift that will provide for at least 6 months worth of food.

We have a little house to call ours.

We have Luna.

But most importantly,

We have each other.

We are ever so grateful for the friends and family God has placed in our lives for such a time as this. Our jaws are continually on the floor over all He has provided just since we got back to Spokane from camp. It's incredible to see the blessings that flow from giving up everything for the summer and following His calling to minister to campers and staff. Another testimony for the books.

The many blessings have just allowed us to focus on what needs our attention right now, which is spending time in Federal Way with my Mom as much as possible, school work, and work. I was able to spend my birthday over there, opening my gifts while snuggled up in bed with her. What a special time that was! And it's always hard to come back, but now that I'm back I don't ever want to leave again because...WE LOVE SPOKANE!!!

Come and visit soon!!!!

Never Alone

Sometimes marriage is hard. It's challenging. It's arduous. It can be trying. But one thing remains...Craig and I are never alone. We always have each other. We are learning to understand one another and listen with both ears. But Craig and I are never alone. We always have each other.

I am reminded of this beautiful marriage, which God designed and blessed. He knew the road we are on. He knows what lay ahead. And He meant for us to walk it together.

Sometimes marriage is hard. Sometimes I take it for granted. But one thing remains...Craig and I are never along. We always have each other.

"Never Alone"

Jesse Bonanno

When your hope has been broken

And the fear is unspoken but true

You're never alone

Like a dream in a child

Or a childish dream in you

I'll do anything that I can do

To show you my love and comfort you

When you can't seem to find your way home

And when life gets too hard

To face on your own

I will stand as a light through your darkest unknown

I will walk with you

So you're never alone

You're never alone

Like a tear in the ocean

Or a star on a clear winter night

You're never alone

When the courage you needed

Has been all but defeated in you

I'll do anything that I can do

To show you my love and comfort you

Living Relentlessly

"To live in My presence consistently, you must expose and expel your rebellious tendencies. When something interferes with your plans or desires, you tend to resent the interference. Try to become aware of each resentment, however petty it may seem. Don't push those unpleasant feelings down; instead, let them come to the surface where you can deal with them. Ask My Spirit to increase your awareness of resentful feelings. Bring them boldly into the Light of My Presence, so that I can free you from them.

The ultimate solution to rebellious tendencies is submission to My authority over you. Intellectually you rejoice in my sovereignty, without which the world would be a terrifying place. But when My sovereign will encroaches on your little domain of control, you often react with telltale resentment.

The best response to losses or thwarted hopes is praise: THE LORD GIVES AND THE LORD TAKES AWAY. BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD. Remember that all good things - your possessions, your family and friends, your health and abilities, your time - are gifts from Me. Instead of feeling entitled to all these blessings, respond to them with gratitude.

Be prepared to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go of My hand!"

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Resist [the devil], firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 

1 Peter 5:6-7, 9-11

I'm Back!

I actually need this blog back in my life! I surely have taken a hiatus from writing (just on here!) but need it back in my life. It allows me to share that no matter what joys DO come in the morning!

It's 7:15am on a Sunday morning and my coffee mug is already empty, which means I've been up for a while! I just toss and turn all night until the clock has a godly hour on it, meaning I can get up and not have to excuse myself for getting up at some ungodly hour. But have no fear, I LOVE MORNINGS! I do! It's my favorite time of day! Align that with a crisp, foggy, fall morning and it's called an obsession!!! This is my favorite time of year....

As I was perusing the archives of posts last night I found this fantastic fun fall post!

September 28, 2011

well, i love the fall season for many reasons, but there are 10 more particular reasons i like the season.  we have had a late summer here in Spokane...just this past saturday we had a 90 degree day.  for all my western folks, please be jealous.  but don't worry it rained here all day monday and everyone thought they were melting...pansies!  but here are twn reasons why i LOVE fall...

10. pumpkin spice lattes/apple cidar
9. blankets are needed to be wrapped around me at all times
8. i don't have to think about what i'd look like in a two piece
7. the beautiful colors
6. football season, which for me means family, friends, and food
5. running in the crisp, cold, morning
4. children & adults can get away with dressing like professional medical staff with absolutely no education to back up their Halloween costume
3. sweaters and sweats and sweatshirts and slippers and bathrobes

2. this picture...

and lastly....

1. MY BIRTHDAY!!!!  October 26

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes it's true - 6 days and counting until my 27th birthday. 27 years come and gone just like that! But if I'm honest with you, I'm not even thinking about my birthday this year...I keep forgetting it's coming. And for those of you that know me this is ABNORMAL behavior. October 1st I usually start a countdown, making sure everyone I come in contact with knows how many more days until my birthday. It's the one day I can get away with being the center of attention (even though I still struggle with it on that day - ha!). But this year seems to be a little different. My mind is elsewhere - why be selfish about a day that is all about me when those I love are fighting for their life?! 

My birthday wish list (other than a NikeFuel Band):

1. That the Lord's will be done
2. That miraculous healing occur
3. That familial wounds be bandaged
4. For a stronger, even more powerful marriage

Have a blessed Sunday!

Caring Bridge

It's been since February since I last wrote in here!

Not cool, Megs, not cool...

But it saddens me as it has been an outlet, a joy, and a hobby of mine to write!

I have temporarily given it up though in order to spend my time focusing on my studies and doing other things, such as creating and maintaining my Mom's Caring Bridge site.

I encourage you to follow me [and my family] on this journey of faith...perseverance...endurance...triumph...tears...and love...

Loves.

Megs

Susie Kay Smith

My Life as 'Normal'

I am feeling sensitive and emotional more so lately than ever before and it drives me crazy not being able to say what I am thinking/feeling. I can't put to words what goes on in my head and in my heart -- maybe it's because that is where they are supposed to stay FOREVER.  After all, my life isn't a Hollywood movie.  No one has paid me to tell my story.  Therefore, I really should stop beating myself up over this hurdle in my life.

But I think I want my first book to be titled, My Life as 'Normal.'  This title being so perfect for many reasons, one of which being that I am far from normal.  However, I'm not quite sure what normal means anymore.  I personally think it should be removed from the Webster's Dictionary due to lack of empirical evidence on what it means to be normal.  HAHA I looked it up and it says, "conforming to the standard or common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural." Here is my first question...what the heck is the standard and common type?  Who got to decide that?  That would have been a fun job!!!

I think the reason I would title my first book this (yes...i'm planning on writing multiple, the first being title Meganisms) is because I feel like I have been able to float through life with only small personal battles. It seems I always get the longer end of the stick rather than the shorter end. And it truly makes me angry!!  Why can't struggles be evenly distributed?  Because God doesn't think I can handle it?  Well, if it involves blood or pain then there is some truth to that!  But seriously.  It just doesn't seem fair and it kills me that I always have to be the spectator who sits back and watches everyone else fight their battles.  And to top it off, God made me SUPER, OFF THE CHARTS compassionate!  I carry other peoples' burdens around so well -- protecting them and thinking of them often -- and can't seem to disconnect myself from their pain and hurt.  This makes for a powerfully polarized combination and it causes me lots of distress. And want to know the cherry on top?  I don't know how to communicate and put into words what I am feeling (please revisit the first paragraph above).  What a conglomeration of skills/weaknesses I have been blessed with.  I am constantly trying to figure out how to break this vicious cycle.

Why did I get blessed with being 'normal?'

I don't get really sick BUT close people around me do...

I don't lose family members BUT close people around me do...

I am not getting divorced BUT close people around me are...

I don't have health issues BUT close people around me do...

Tragedy hasn't struck BUT it has with others...

I couldn't have said it better than Tenth Avenue North 

"Worn"

I've made mistakes
I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn